( it's important to read every word, buffy thinks — because there's little else more precious in her life than her relationship with giles, because this is insight usually tabled and shelved away, because she asked giles to always be honest with her, and she can't conveniently lose her phone when he happens to give her what she asked for.
in the end, what she figured was the issue — that giles did not want to be with a corpse, that there was some disgusting quality to buffy as perceived through the necessary evil of spike — is actually a non issue. the rest? a math problem that doesn't make sense. buffy imagines, if love is there, the rest falls into place. she can't love giles this much and have it be doomed — she's experienced that once already, and the circumstances were different. giles isn't made evil for loving her. giles isn't ruined because he's touched her. he's as permanent as a tattoo — like a bone inside her, something vital, something supportive. if he thinks he’s the only one lost in this, he’s dead wrong. )
of course i love you. i don't really have a scope of how it feels, but i'd guess a lot of slayers have loved their watchers the way that i love you. and i really don't have a scope on this, but i also have to guess i love you like how most daughters love their dads. the other way, too. i know it's weird. it's not normal. you're the most important person in the world to me. when you were gone, i felt like lost like more alone than i’ve ever felt and when you're around, everything is so much better. because. i think you're the only relationship i have that doesn't come with any hooks or conditions i really think you’d love me even if i was just buffy. and i don’t feel that way about anyone except dawn who wouldn’t even exist if i wasn’t the slayer
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Date: 2025-08-21 02:12 pm (UTC)in the end, what she figured was the issue — that giles did not want to be with a corpse, that there was some disgusting quality to buffy as perceived through the necessary evil of spike — is actually a non issue. the rest? a math problem that doesn't make sense. buffy imagines, if love is there, the rest falls into place. she can't love giles this much and have it be doomed — she's experienced that once already, and the circumstances were different. giles isn't made evil for loving her. giles isn't ruined because he's touched her. he's as permanent as a tattoo — like a bone inside her, something vital, something supportive. if he thinks he’s the only one lost in this, he’s dead wrong. )
of course i love you. i don't really have a scope of how it feels, but i'd guess a lot of slayers have loved their watchers the way that i love you. and i really don't have a scope on this, but i also have to guess i love you like how most daughters love their dads. the other way, too. i know it's weird. it's not normal.
you're the most important person in the world to me. when you were gone, i felt like
lost
like
more alone than i’ve ever felt
and when you're around, everything is so much better. because. i think you're the only relationship i have that doesn't come with any hooks or conditions
i really think you’d love me even if i was just buffy. and i don’t feel that way about anyone except
dawn
who wouldn’t even exist if i wasn’t the slayer